Trev Strikes Again...

Scene:  Bedtime.  Mom in Trev's room discussing the day.  While Trev is deep in a storyline, Mom realizes she needs to tell Dad something.

Mom:  (Snaps fingers, vaguely talking to self) Oh, that's what it was...

Trev:  What?

Mom:  I just remembered I have to tell your dad something.

Trev:  What?  That he's a jackass? 

Gifted Child

Scene:  Bedtime

Jake:  Man, I'm beat!

Mom:  Why?

Jake:  Are you kidding me?  I busted my butt today studying for that test.

Mom:  Um, hold on.  You watched T.V. for, like 45 minutes when you got home from school.

Jake:  Yeah, but I've been totally studying since then.

Mom:  You were also in the bathroom taking a doo for another 45 minutes.

Jake:  (Slight pause)... It's a gift. 

Check Please

(Okay, so this one happened a couple of months ago)

Scene:  Bedtime.  In Trev's room tucking him in.

Mom:  So, how have you been behaving in class?

Trev:  (Gives thumbs up).

Mom:  Hmmm.  So, you haven't received any checks?  (What the teacher gives for horsing around in class).

Trev:  Nope.  *smirks*  What?

Mom:  Trrevvv...

Trev:  Well, okay, this is how it goes.  I got a check today, but I really don't know why.  Really!

Mom:  You mean to tell me you have no idea why you got a check today?  That Mr. Hebron just hands out checks without telling anyone why?

Trev:  Yup.  I have no idea.

Mom:  Well, tomorrow I want you to ask him why you got a check.  Got it?

Trev:  Okay.  Hmmm, I hope I remember to ask him.

Mom:  Oh, you'll remember.  So, was it only one check?

Trev:  Yup.

Mom:  Trrevvv...

Trev:  Well, okay, I think I got two.  But really, I have no idea why!

Mom:  (Goes into explanation as to how this is unacceptable, blah, blah, blah.)

Trev:  Okay, I promise, I won't get any more checks the whole year.  Shake on it.

Mom:  (Hesitantly shakes hand.)

Trev:  There.  Now, if I do get another check, you can take the PlayStation away from me for a whole month...(pause)...wellll, maybe just a week 'cuzzzzzz I really like playing it.    

Boys and Guns

Trev:  Hey, Mom, will you take me to the bank to get my money so I can buy a pistol?

Mom:  No. Why do you want a pistol?

Trev:  So I can shoot weird people in our house.  I'm serious.  I really want a pistol.

Mom:  (Thinking about the fate of all the weird people in our home).  No, Trev, not gonna happen.  You're not even old enough to get a gun.

Trev:  Well, you go buy it then and just give it to me.  I'm serious.  Man, when I grow up I'm gonna get a pistol AND a machine gun.

Mom:  Machine guns are illegal to own.

Jake:  What?  Machine guns are illegal?  Well (sigh) my plans are screwed.